According to This Esteemed Communist Party Official, Fireworks Help Combat Poverty

FireworksQuotePhoto via Dan Lam Bao

“Những người nghèo, họ cùng khao khát được xem bắn pháo hoa. Những lúc thưởng thức bắn pháo hoa giúp họ quên đi cáo nghèo, cái khó.”

“The poor people, they all dream of the chance to watch a fireworks show. Those moments of enjoying fireworks help them forget about their poverty, their hardship.”

A real quote from a real Communist Party member, Phan Dang Long

Yep, that was a real quote from a real life Communist Party official in Vietnam. According to website Dan Lam Bao, Phan Dang Long, high-ranking official of the Vietnamese Communist Party, made this statement in front of state-run media in response to the question of why the city of Hanoi spends so much money organizing frequent fireworks shows. As shown above by his comment, this VCP official honestly believes that fireworks are a viable method of alleviation to the major poverty issue plaguing Vietnam today.

I don’t know about you, but if I were starving, with no place to live, barely any clothes on my back, and no idea how I am going to support my family or even myself in the immediate future, I highly doubt that some flashing lights in the sky are going to change any of that.

I don’t really have too much left to point out here, the guy thinks that fireworks are the solution to the crippling poverty issue engulfing all of Vietnam right now. This Communist Party official, in a public statement, I must add, thinks that FIREWORKS are the cure to the Vietnamese population’s pain and suffering. Let me reiterate. In an OFFICIAL STATEMENT to the press (government-run media, but still), this senior member of the VCP claims that FIREWORKS, not better education, not better social programs, not healthcare reform, not more employment opportunities, not the curbing of the extreme corruption present in all levels of the VCP, but FIREWORKS, are the remedy to the impoverishment and deterioration of Vietnam’s standard of living.

Wait, maybe I’m not being fair here. I forgot to ask how long the fireworks shows last for. A longer show must distract all the people from being poor and sick for a longer period of time, thus helping combat the poverty epidemic more effectively, right? This must be taken into consideration. Fifteen minutes of forgetting about the fact that you’re sleeping on concrete tonight is much better than ten minutes of the exact same fact, right? RIGHT?! Better than zero minutes, RIGHT?!?!

As comical as Phan Dang Long’s comment is, the sad reality is that brainless statements such as this are not uncommon for the Vietnamese Communist Party.

Mr. Phan Dang Long is the esteemed Deputy Chairman of Propaganda for Hanoi City. He is also an idiot.

DMCS.

4 Responses to “According to This Esteemed Communist Party Official, Fireworks Help Combat Poverty”

  1. The world has a good laugh every time Communist leaders or the so called intellectuals from Vietnam open their mouths. No exception, really.

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